Enough...

This morning was one of the harder ones for me. I love getting up before my kids to have worship. I look forward to it, plan on it, and bask in it. This morning, they woke up early. I know worship should give me patience, and it does...after. During I just get more and more frustrated. They have to stay in their room until 7 a.m., but that theory doesn't always work out in practice. I make them stay there, but that doesn't stop them from continually coming out and yelling downstairs at me for random "needs". And I just get more and more annoyed.

This morning, as this scenario was playing out, I asked for God's grace enough to handle them today (when days start out like this, I have a hard time pulling back my peace and patience that I started the day hoping for). The song "Your Grace is Enough" came into my head, and, the lover of technology that I am, immediately pulled out my iphone and downloaded it. Then sat and listened to it as long as I could (trying to ignore the kid noise above).

Just that phrase "Your Grace is Enough" really struck me. This is such a little thing. God's grace (including God's love and patience and all the other wonderful gifts that pour out of God) has been enough to cover the world for thousands of years. Every individual is offered this, to cover massive amounts of Sin. Every moment. It is very petty of me to wonder if, those thousands of "gallons" of grace are enough for my little annoyances. Of course God can give me the grace to get through the day. How petty of me to think otherwise.

Meanwhile, back to the kids I go...

The big & small of it...

I recently came to understand the story of Cain and Abel in a new way. I thought of this story as "Cain brings food instead of animals to God, God gets mad, Cain gets jealous, Cain kills brother." When I pay attention to the text (and I think becoming a parent helps a lot) I see this in a new light.
Cain brings the sacrifice of his own hard work to God. God has asked for something different, a sacrifice that is the work of God, not the work of a man. When God doesn't accept Cain's sacrifice, Cain get's mad. God says "Why are you angry?...If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." Gen. 4:6,7
What to sacrifice seems like a small issue. God, however, sees the bigger picture. God sees that by allowing Cain to slip by with this little showing of pride, the bigger evil of SIN will come in and hurt Cain more. How many times as a parent to I stop a small misbehavior so that the bigger one doesn't follow it its wake? This wasn't God being overly picky, this was God being a good dad!
Unfortunately, in the rest of the story, we see that Cain overreacts and kills his brother. God still acts lovingly, punishing Cain by making him leave home, but protecting him throughout the rest of his life.
We fall under this same temptation all the time. To let the little things slide in our daily interactions with others and with God. Little bits of pride, anger, resentment, etc. seep through and we think "no biggie, it's just a small thing." This passage is a great reminder that there are no small things.
Does this seem overwhelming? The Bible doesn't leave it to us to get better. God saw how easily we fall and provided. Hebrews 2: 18 says "For in that He Himself (Jesus) has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted." Not only does Jesus understand what we are going through, but has taken it upon himself. As John the Baptist proclaimed "Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world."
Today I pray God's help in the small things...and the big.

Rejoice exceedingly

Lately I have been enjoying reading the Bible according to a liturgical-style reading plan I found at crivoice.org. It's based on readings from the Book of Common prayer. For one, I like how it chooses 4 different readings from different sections of scripture so I get a well-rounded reading of the Bible each day. The different readings all seem to be thematically joined, so even though it's from different areas of scripture, I feel I can soak up one common theme from God each day. Another reason I enjoy this style is I love that other Christians around the world could be reading on a similar schedule and I feel a part of God's greater church at large.

Today's Psalm was beautiful. Psalm 68:
Let God arise...
As wax melts before a fire, let the wicked perish at the
presense of God.
But let the righteous be glad;
Let them rejoice before God;
Yes, let them rejoice exceedingly.

I think we often think of the presence of God with fear and trembling, and rightly so! But here is an image of those who worship God rejoicing before God. The wicked will melt away, but the righteous, those who have accepted God's unconditional love and come to God humbly aware of our unworthiness before His worthy, those have no need for fear. Let them rejoice exceedingly. For God is

"A father of the fatherless, a
defender of widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
God set the solitary in families.
He brings out those who are bound
into prosperity."

What a beautiful picture of God. I will rejoice exceedingly before God today.

A God of action...?

"Save me, O God, by Your name,
And vindicate me, by Your strength.
Hear my prayer, O God;
Give ear to the words of my mouth."
-Psalm 54:1,2

David clearly believed in a God of action. He saw God as Someone who did things and he expected God to act. And, he was "a man after God's own heart."

I am not one who expects a lot of action from God. God is very real to me. I have a relationship with God that is as real to me as my relationship with my husband or kids. In this relationship, I see God working, but through people loving people as they listen to God's voice leading. I don't really expect God to act through miraculous acts outside of people's "help" (for lack of a better word). Is this good or should I expect more? Are my expectations realistic or do I limit God?

More fun vs. harder

My facebook status at the moment is something along the lines of "my constant parenting challenge: to see simple tasks with kids as "more fun" instead of "harder".

With parenting, it's so much about attitude. It can be fun to sort laundry, cook meals, clean, grocerry shop, or whatever, if I take the time to make it fun with the boys. It's not that easy, though. So much I just want to get a task done and not deal with the "extras".

This isn't much of a deep thought or great spiritual insight today. It's just my thoughts. God can give me this attitutde if I want it, but I have to want it and be willing to take the time. Ah the truth of it. If I really want to or not...

Not so soft

I loved the psalm I read today. It has a wonderfully rounded picture of God. As much as I like picturing God as my friend, and as real as God's friendship is to me, "friend" is an indadequate description of who God is. Psalm 50 says:


"Our God shall come, and shall not keep silent;
A fire shall devour before HIm,
And it shall be very tempestuous
all around Him....
Call upon Me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you shall
glorify Me."

and later

"But to the wicked God says;
What right have you to decalre my statutues,
Or take My covenant in your mouth,
Seeing you hate instruction
And cast My words behind you?...

Now consider this, you who forget God,
Lest I tear you in pieces,
And there be none to deliver:
Whoever offers praise glorifies Me;
And to him who orders his conduct aright
I will show the salvation of God."

That's a lot of text for one blog entry, but I loved it too much to cut it down any more. It seems a bit of an odd, harsh text to love, I know, but here's the thing: If I see a parent who is continually lenient with their child and when their child is acting up they just give chance after chance, I would consider that person a poor parent. How ridiculous of me to expect less of God! Love, real love, involves passion and justice. With so much evil in the world, I could only worship a God who intends to do something about that evil. I worship an amazing God of all consuming love. So much love that God cannot leave evil alone, but must act and must instruct and teach those who will learn, by whatever means necessary. I am so thankful for a powerful God.

Hum drum Majesty...

Every morning (well, I try every morning) I read a Psalm and a story from the Gospels. Todays Psalm was Psalm 47:

"God has gone up with a shout,
The Lord with the sound of a
trumpet.
Sing praises to God, sing praises!"
Psalm 47:5-6

Beautiful, inspiring, right? This morning, for me, not so much. My 3 yr old was up off and on for 1 hr after bedtime and then again between 2 and 4 am! For what? Wonderful reasons like "Roux's not very comfortable, can you come fluff Roux's pillow?" Seriously, kid?!? I want to "fluff" something right now. Grrr.

Today I face a day of incredible normality. Breakfast, clean up, get dressed, run errands, etc. And I'm exhausted. It's all oh so...normal. I'm not feeling the incredible majesty of God this morning. The best emotion I can muster is "blah".

I know that recognizing God's majesty isn't an emotion, and I want that majesty in my life today, even in the blah-ness of it. I really do. I sure hope God doesn't go on "feelings" because I'm sure not feeling it.

Is it ironic that the section I'm at in the gospel portion of my devotions started with "Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones..." (Matthew 18:10)? Huh...