More fun vs. harder

My facebook status at the moment is something along the lines of "my constant parenting challenge: to see simple tasks with kids as "more fun" instead of "harder".

With parenting, it's so much about attitude. It can be fun to sort laundry, cook meals, clean, grocerry shop, or whatever, if I take the time to make it fun with the boys. It's not that easy, though. So much I just want to get a task done and not deal with the "extras".

This isn't much of a deep thought or great spiritual insight today. It's just my thoughts. God can give me this attitutde if I want it, but I have to want it and be willing to take the time. Ah the truth of it. If I really want to or not...

Not so soft

I loved the psalm I read today. It has a wonderfully rounded picture of God. As much as I like picturing God as my friend, and as real as God's friendship is to me, "friend" is an indadequate description of who God is. Psalm 50 says:


"Our God shall come, and shall not keep silent;
A fire shall devour before HIm,
And it shall be very tempestuous
all around Him....
Call upon Me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you shall
glorify Me."

and later

"But to the wicked God says;
What right have you to decalre my statutues,
Or take My covenant in your mouth,
Seeing you hate instruction
And cast My words behind you?...

Now consider this, you who forget God,
Lest I tear you in pieces,
And there be none to deliver:
Whoever offers praise glorifies Me;
And to him who orders his conduct aright
I will show the salvation of God."

That's a lot of text for one blog entry, but I loved it too much to cut it down any more. It seems a bit of an odd, harsh text to love, I know, but here's the thing: If I see a parent who is continually lenient with their child and when their child is acting up they just give chance after chance, I would consider that person a poor parent. How ridiculous of me to expect less of God! Love, real love, involves passion and justice. With so much evil in the world, I could only worship a God who intends to do something about that evil. I worship an amazing God of all consuming love. So much love that God cannot leave evil alone, but must act and must instruct and teach those who will learn, by whatever means necessary. I am so thankful for a powerful God.

Hum drum Majesty...

Every morning (well, I try every morning) I read a Psalm and a story from the Gospels. Todays Psalm was Psalm 47:

"God has gone up with a shout,
The Lord with the sound of a
trumpet.
Sing praises to God, sing praises!"
Psalm 47:5-6

Beautiful, inspiring, right? This morning, for me, not so much. My 3 yr old was up off and on for 1 hr after bedtime and then again between 2 and 4 am! For what? Wonderful reasons like "Roux's not very comfortable, can you come fluff Roux's pillow?" Seriously, kid?!? I want to "fluff" something right now. Grrr.

Today I face a day of incredible normality. Breakfast, clean up, get dressed, run errands, etc. And I'm exhausted. It's all oh so...normal. I'm not feeling the incredible majesty of God this morning. The best emotion I can muster is "blah".

I know that recognizing God's majesty isn't an emotion, and I want that majesty in my life today, even in the blah-ness of it. I really do. I sure hope God doesn't go on "feelings" because I'm sure not feeling it.

Is it ironic that the section I'm at in the gospel portion of my devotions started with "Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones..." (Matthew 18:10)? Huh...

Truthiness

So yesterday my 3 yr old and I had a long discussion in the car about some complicated piece of theology that I try to put in kid-terms. This actually happens a lot. Lately it's been along the lines of "if God didn't create germs, where did they come from?" So, how to explain Sin and "The Fall" to a 3 yr old...

After a few failed attempts, I finally came up with an explanation that he was happy with. Adam and Eve stopped listening to God, so bad things happened. When we listen to God, good things happen. This makes sense to him. I, however, struggle.

I recognize that I need to present these things on a level that he can understand, yet I struggle when I know I'm not really telling him the truth. Bad things happen all the time, even when we do listen to God. Again, I'm not going to try to impress this on him, yet I feel what is almost a moral dilemma that I am somehow brainwashing him by giving everything a rosy-glow and not giving him a true understanding of the amazing, wonderful challenge it is to follow God in the midst of bad things.

I don't really have an ending for this thought. It's just one that comes up a lot. How to lead my children in to a truth-filled, full relationship with God as they grow. I think this will be a life-long struggle.

Moving on...

It's been 1 year since "the move" from southern CA to Washington. 1 year since I quit full-time ministry to have more time with my little ones. 1 year since one of the biggest events of my life, my Ordination-Commissioning. It's strange to look back, but I couldn't be happier and I know this is what God has for me. When I was in CA, I didn't realize how I was barely hanging on, close to tears often with the stress of how to accomplish all that needed to be done. Now I approach each day knowing I can do it at my own pace and enjoy it along the way. I have fallen in love with the PNW, especially the heaven-like summers! My boys lived in our big back yard (another gain of the NW) all summer long. I'm mourning the loss of that as the rainy weather sets in, but it's nice to know I have that to look forward to each year.

When leaving CA, packing up my house was a relief. The hard part was packing my office, not knowing when I would have another one to call my own. 3 years ago, when visiting family here in the NW I visited a church that had beautiful offices. I remember thinking "wow, this would be nice." and that's as far as my thoughts went, thinking I would never consider moving to this area. Now, not only did we move here and not only do I love it, I have an (albeit small, but it's mine!) office at that exact church we visited. God works in amazing ways.

I am fulfilled in my career, fulfilled in my home life, and at peace knowing that God led me here and is continually leading in my life. Sometimes I stress about the future, what's going to happen when I want to go back to full time ministry, will there be a place for me in this community that I'm growing to love more and more, but then I kick my self in the behind realizing how incredibly God worked to bring us to this point, working so many small details in to know this is the place for us, and I just have to trust that my future is also in God's hands.

The faith not to defend...

In Matthew 9 there is the story of Jesus healing a paralyzed man. Before Jesus heals the man, He forgives his sins. The religious leaders hear this and accuse Jesus of blasphemy -claiming to have the power of God. Jesus doesn't argue with this, merely says "Which is easier, to say your sins or forgiven or to heal?", then he heals the man as well. The man and crowds who witnessed this event walk away "Glorifying God that He gave such power to humans." And the story ends there.

Here is what I find amazing. Jesus was just accused of claiming to have the power of God, to be God, yet the people don't see this. They are amazed God gave this power to a human. And Jesus doesn't correct them. He doesn't run after them yelling "By the way, I'm God, too, not just human!" I think the reason He doesn't correct the people is two-fold (or more, I just see 2 right now).

1. The main purpose of Christ coming to earth was to show the world the love of God. In forgiving a crippled man, then healing him, God's love was on display for all. And all who saw it glorified God. Therefor, Christ was happy. His mission for the day was accomplished, God was seen as worthy of love and glory, as a loving God who cares for all, even the marginalized and helpless.

2. Jesus was so secure in His standing with God that what people thought of Him, as long as they knew who God was, didn't phase him.

Both of those are such a lesson for me. To be mostly concerned that people see a loving God through me, but not feel the need to make myself look good? That is not something I'm good at. I feel the need to explain to the check-out lady if the combination of items I'm buying looks strange. If I have to cut someone off in traffic because I almost missed my exit, I'd love to pull the person I cut off over and explain that my GPS didn't give me enough warning so they don't think I'm a bad driver. It is incredible to me to think of not correcting someone's thoughts of me and only be concerned with what they think of God because of me.

God, give me that strength today.

Sleepy Thanksgiving Thoughts

My sister-in-law, Jessica (aka Martha Stewart) made adorable leaf sugar cookies in cellophane baggies to go at each place setting for Thanksgiving (should I mention she’s hosting over 25 people?). Attached to each bag is the simple text “In Everything, Give Thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Lying in bed this morning, enjoying a rare chance to sleep in while my mom watched the boys, I got to thinking about that text.

“In Everything Give Thanks.”

In. Not after, not once I look back, not once things are all hunky dory, but In. In the midst of everything. Waiting for my house to close, not sure what’s happening with my job, In the midst of this, give thanks. Don’t wait. Do it In.

Everything. Really God, Everything? When I’m exhausted and my baby is in a mommy phase and no one else can take him so I can’t go anywhere alone – everything? What about Adam’s coworker’s son who isn’t even 3 and had major spinal surgery? What about that my brother and sister-in-law’s cat got killed yesterday, the day before Thanksgiving? That’s where the first word comes back into play. We don’t give thanks “For Everything”, we give thanks “In Everything.” Everything.

Give. Giving thanks isn’t about me. It’s about God, it’s about others. It’s a completely selfless act. I don’t keep anything for myself. When I give thanks I recognize that I don’t deserve what I have, I just appreciate. I Give.

Thanks. Total appreciation. A simple word that just says I am unworthy, but God has given me all I need. I can do nothing to deserve what God has given in God’s Grace. And all I can say is Thanks.

In Everything, Give Thanks.