change

I haven't blogged in a while. Truthfully, I haven't felt like it. Our life has changed and changed and changed again, yet as a stay-at-home mom now, I feel that I live day by day with no depth. I'm happy, but I don't feel very deeply right now. It's hard to blog with no feeling.

My lack of feeling applies to my spiritual life. No depth. I know to have more depth I need to spend time in spiritual things. Hard to do. I thought I had a great solution. Join a local (awesome) gym with cheap daycare and listen to spiritual podcasts (I love me some Rob Bell sermons!). The second time I tried this, Finn was screaming within the first 5 minutes. I'm currently trying to cancel my membership. I read psalms on my iphone while I rock Finn to sleep. That's nice, but without time, discussion, or journaling it stay very surface-y.

Today I was listening to Christian music on the radio. The song said "You always hold on." My 3 year old (or will be 3 on Friday!) asked me what it was about. I said it was about Jesus staying close to us. He said "It says he hold's on. Why?" I said Jesus loves us so much that he always holds on to us and never lets go. I thought about that for me. No matter how unfeeling I am about my spiritual life right now, Jesus holds on. I'm not sure how I "feel" about that, but it's true and today I'm trying to focus on that truth.