Sabbath

It's finally Sabbath. I'm not sure what that means for a stay-at-home mom. How is it different? It still feels different, and I'm not trying to get things done, so I guess that's good. I'm pretty worn out and tomorrow isn't looking all that "restful". My husband is still away, so on I go as a single parent.

It has been hard to be a SAH mom. Especially on Sabbath. Last week I barely made it through church without crying, and the only thing that kept me from crying was texting people from my old church. I need a church family. I need a place to come where I care about the people and they care about me. I'm not sure when this will happen.

This week has also been discouraging on the housing side of things. It's looking less likely that we'll qualify for a loan right now, which means renting indefinitely. Yuck. I am fully aware that we have it better than 90% of the world, that my boys will be happy wherever, and that renting isn't the end of the world, but we came here to give our boys a better home and now I don't know how or when that will happen.

I sound down, and so I should add that I'm generally happy here overall in our new homeland of Washington. I like the lack of stress. I can care for my boys and not feel like I should always be doing something else. I love that it's beautiful and green here, and that I get to have a real autumn, my favorite season! I like having weekends as a family without having a billion other obligations.

I am trying to trust God to work this out, the new church home, the new live-in home, etc. I just don't really know what to "trust". Because my theology says that I just have to trust in God to help me find peace no matter the circumstance, but that's not what I'm looking for right now! I also know I need more time with God if I'm going to have that peace, and I certainly haven't been fulfilling my end of that!

So, on to having a non-working (?) Sabbath. I think I'll go to bed and read a little about God.